Well, he picked me up at exit 12
On the I-Six-Eighty ramp
I was doin’ 67 per
When I rumbled through his trap
He commenced to whirl his flashin’ lights
And he made his siren wail
I slipped on down to 4-wheel drive
With smokey on my tail

Now I got racin’ stripes and dual pipes
And smokey’s got a ford
Got a mill with a four pot carb, you know
But smokey’s stroked and bored
Well, the chase was on, but I had the edge
With a rig that’ll never fail
Got a CJ-5 with a 4-wheel drive
And smokey on my tail

Yeah, he was.

Well, I dropped on down to granny low
And I made a hard right turn
My big ol’ fat commando tires
Went slashin’ through the corn
Well, the tassels blew
And the kernels flew
And it looked like yella hail
Just cookin’ alive in a 4-wheel drive
With smokey on my tail

Look out, now. here he come.
Oh, we gonna get it on now.
We gonna swim this here creek now, smokey.
Yard wide and a foot deep.
Nishnabota River, they call it.
Might haveta winch out.
Gonna do a wheelie on that there gopher mound now, smokey.
Can you dig it, smokey? 
Got four on the floor and four in the air on that one, didn’t we? 
Goodness gracious. ’bout ta bust my shocks.

Well, that jeep of mine made smokey whine
His rig was made of lead
He was mired in fourteen feet of mud
So he radioed ahead
I pulled up onto the blacktop
Went crashin’ on through the rail
Sakes alive! I had twenty-five more
Smokeys on my tail!

Now I had racin’ stripes and dual pipes
And smokey had a ford
Had a mill with a four pot carb, you know
But smokey’s stroked and bored
Well, the race was on, but I had the edge
With a rig that’ll never fail
Got a CJ-5 with a four-wheel drive
Settin’ out back a’ the jail
    (by Bill Fries and Chip Davis)

And he explained it all to us how we was supposed to get to Telluride, which is fifty miles away by way of the regular highway.  However, there was a shortcut, but unless we had drove the Black Bear Road before, we'd better be off to stay, stay in bed and sleep late. 

Well, we took up off of the highway and we come upon a sign says "Black Bear Road. You don't have to be crazy to drive this road, but it helps." I says, "RJ, this must the shortcut Kubozke was talkin' about." She didn't pay no mind, 'cause she was makin' peanut butter sandwiches for the kids in the back seat, throwin' rocks and drinkin' kool-aid, and playin' count-the-license-plates. But they wasn't havin' too much fun a-countin' license plate or cars; 'cause there weren't no other cars.

We went about a mile-and-a-half in about four hours.  Busted off the right front fender. Tore a hole in the oil pan on a rock as big as a hall closet. Went over a bump and spilt the kool-aid, and Roy Gene stuck his bolo knife right through the convertible top, and the dog threw up all over the back seat. Peanut butter don't agree with him, you see.

So we had to stop and take off the top, and air everything out and clean it up. The dog run off and RJ says she felt her asthma comin' on. I was sittin' there wonderin' what to do when the entire Scenic San Juan "You-Drive-Em" Army Jeep car sank in the mud. At thirteen thousand feet above sea level.

Well, we shoveled it out and ate our lunch.  The dog made a yellow hole in the snow, and Roy Gene got out this instamatic and took a snapshot of it. Mary Elizabeth drawed a picture of the road; it looked like a whole bunch a' "Z"s and "W"s all strung together. And RJ took one look at it and said that the only way that Jeep car is goin' down that road is over her dead body. Then a rock slipped out from under the wheel and the "You-Drive-Em" Army Jeep car went right over the edge of the cliff.    ---- Yahoo-oo-oo-oo!

"Doggone-it, Roy Gene! How many times do I have to explain it to you? When I tell you to put a rock under the wheel, I mean a ROCK! Now look at that, what you have there is no bigger'n a grape-fruit.                                                                (by C.W. McCall, Bill Fries and Chip Davis)

Black Bear Road is only open a few months out of the year, in the late summer and early fall. Black Bear Road usually doesn't open until the last week of July. The road is traveled one way only, downhill (except for the annual Jeeper's Jamboree in which the path is reversed for one day only), from the Red Mountain Pass side. The start of the trail is marked along U.S. 550 with the famous sign that reads:

Black Bear Road is a difficult, dangerous trail even for four-wheel drive vehicles. If you have to be rescued, expect a towing bill in four figures. In 2004 a jeep slipped off the slope near the beginning of the switchbacks and fell several thousand feet, killing two of the passengers and severely injuring two others. Do not attempt this trail if you are not a highly experienced jeeper. Guided tours are available.

So little Bo-Peep has lost her jeep
And don't know where to find it
Her soldier boy took it back to camp
And left Bo-Peep behind it

It didn't have doors, the seats were hard
But Bo-Peep never minded
It didn't ride like a Cadillac
She wondered who designed it

Roller coasters nearly killed her
Aeroplanes they never thrilled her
But with Jackson at the wheel
She got that jeep, jeep, jeep appeal

Now little Bo-Peep wants to find her jeep
And find her soldier chappie
If he comes chug chug in his old blitz buggy
Bo-Peep will be happy

Now little Bo-Peep has lost her jeep
Her boyfriend made an error
He let her drive, goodness, sakes alive
That Bo-Peep she's a terror

The throttle pushed down,
She tore through town
The red lights didn't stop her
The soldier knew that they both were through
When she side-swiped a copper

(Car sounds - "Look Out" - Crash sound)

Now little Bo-Peep has lost her jeep
Oh my, why must her joy end
Now her little jeep is layin' in a heap
And the guard house has her boy friend